I have had a professional relaxer since high school at least. I think I had a home kit before that, but I'm not sure. My hair was at about bra strap level(BSL) my senior year and I got it cut to my chin. I was so tired of the males in my life commenting about my long hair and obsessing over it more than I was. I had a hard time with it for a little while, I didn't feel as pretty without my long hair. Nonetheless I kept it short through freshman and sophomore year at college and then started growing it out again. Fast forward 5 years, still relaxed hair is about to BSL again, and I was preggo with MaddieBoo. I had it cut again, about to my shoulders. At this point I didn't have time or energy to mess with it much, and I didn't want to relax while I was pregnant, so I started getting my hair done every two weeks and kept it up until MaddieBoo was about 2. During the time sans relaxer I realized I had no idea how to manage my hair without a relaxer. It was like wild uncharted jungle at my scalp that felt rough and wouldn't straighten when I attempted to do my hair myself. My hairdresser at the time encouraged me to continue getting touch-ups, and would tell me at 6 weeks it was time for another making me think she really couldn't handle my natural hair either.
About this time my baby girl got a HORRIBLE case of ringworm in her scalp. When I say horrible, you can't even imagine. I wish now that I had taken some pictures because none of the doctors we saw had ever seen anything like it either, but it was so severe it makes me get goose bumps thinking back on it almost 3 years later. Turns out she was allergic to the actual ringworm fungus, and that made her have pockets of pus under her scalp that would burst and ooze and caused scarring that we thought would leave bald spots where her hair would never grow back. Thankfully we got the right combo of meds (after consulting with her primary, an allergist and 2 dermatologists) and her hair is thick and healthy as ever with no permanent bald spots. Anyway, after that ordeal and the harsh chemical shampoos that we had to use on her hair everyday her hair was a super-dry brittle damaged mess. I decided then to be very aware of what kind of products I was putting on her head so I started researching natural hair products for kids.
Fast forward another 2 years or so, and I had changed hair dressers, had my hair cut short again and started growing it back out, and was pregnant again. I had been getting my hair done every two weeks again, and hadn't even washed my own hair in months by the time I was 6 months along with my son. I was in Target(one of my favorite stores) and saw a whole endcap dedicated to "ethnic curly hair" products, and on it was a few products from Miss Jessies. I saw the baby buttercreme and thought I would try it on my daughter until I saw the nearly $60 price tag, and that was the only size they had. So I went home and did some research, found a salon where they sold the other sizes and got some (along with a few sample size jars of some of the other products). Let me tell you a year later I still LOVE this stuff for my daughters hair. It tames it and keeps it moisturized....highly recommend the stuff even though it has mineral oil which is supposed to be bad for black hair. Their website is where I first heard about transitioning and the idea that natural black hair could be curly, and not just a frizzy 'fro. I started to look closer at my new growth(since I was preggo and couldn't relax there was more than I had ever had before), and noticed some spiral curls. What?! That was when I thought I should see what my hair was like. I felt so ashamed that I had NO IDEA what my natural hair was like. I don't know what I really thought it was like, but never would have thought actual curls. I had one last touch up in January 2011, and have been off the "creamy crack" since.
So far this has definitely been a journey, some days harder than others, but I am determined to stick to it. I have decided against the Big Chop for now since a ponytail has turned out to be my good friend when all else fails, although it is tempting as my hair grows out more and more. I can't wait to just be natural me, no chemical altering, no "extra pieces" for length or thickness. The freedom that comes with that is part of my motivation....
What motivates you to take better care of yourself?
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